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Talk:Spiderwebs/@comment-3575890-20131122035242
So after some contemplation, I've decided that I just don't have it in my heart to part with you guys and this community. Firstly, I realized tonight that I can't watch an episode of Degrassi and NOT discuss it here. As much as I can't even stand this show anymore, I've grow accustomed to discussing it and not to mention venting about it with you all. And good LORD this episode was just fifty shades of awful and I need to get it out, but that's for a different post all together. Now if all of this bullshit with all of these insipid trolls and cowardly anons was going on about a year and a half ago, leaving would have been a clear-cut decision made on my part, no hesitation. But I have been here for what, two years now? And in that period of time, I have become close with people on here to degrees I never could have forseen. I have confided personal things about my life to people on here that I haven't even told my friends here in my immediate life. That's how much trust I've invested in you all, which is precisely why the other night really struck a chord with me. You guys have come to mean a lot to me, which is why all of the other times that I contemplated leaving in the past, I never ended up going through with it, but the other night put everything into a brand new perceptive. I could deal with random faceless trolls stalking and harassing me within and outside of this wiki because they and their input don't mean a damn thing to me, but the people I trust enough on here to confide in? That is all together different. Now I am not pointing fingers at ANYONE specifically. Until you particularly give me a solid reason to think otherwise, you will not be receiving the side eye from me. Some (hell, MOST) of you I never once questioned or second guessed and you guys know who you are. <3 BUT the fact remains there appears to be someone here who I consider to be a friend that is anything but a friend. Maybe this person isn't necessarily the same person/s that have made it their personal agenda to terrorize and tear apart this community piece by piece. Maybe this person isn't necessarily Harria/Johnsummers and what seems like the zillion other trolls that have it out for me and my friends, but it doesn't even matter. Whoever this person is, was someone I trusted and they used something I divulged to them in confidence against me. Someone who I thought to be a friend secretly detests me to unfathomable extents. So for those asking me how I could just let some irrelevant random troll run me off this wiki? Please bear in mind that there was much more to it at the time than just me not being able to deal with a little anonymous hate. Receiving that message in my ask threw me. On top of my revulsion, I realized that just some random troll couldn't possibly know about that. At the very least I have talked to this person one-on-one in the chat and obviously trusted him/her. It sickened me that someone here has a hatred towards me that is strong enough to compel them to laugh about a nightmarish situation involving a person in my immediate life. To that anon, she's a complete stranger it doesn't know from a hole in the wall, which speaks volumes about how pathetic of a person it is. If you are reading this, and I KNOW you are, it says a lot about you that you get a kick out of a young girl's PTSD from a traumatic ordeal in her life that still haunts her nightmares. I love that girl dearly -- she is like family -- and so for you to talk that way about her -- to LAUGH at her pain and suffering out of sheer hatred for me is just fucking deplorable. YOU are fucking deplorable. But you are also nothing but the equivalent of an insignificant little fly that keeps buzzing around my head that I can just as soon as swat away. If you ARE someone I know, I no longer care. I may never learn your identity because you are too much of a coward to confront me, but I pity you moreso than I detest you if harassing and stalking people on the internet is the only enjoyment you can get out of life. Hordes of users leaving because of some faceless, nameless, ball-less coward compelled me to gravitate back to this place. I hate to see it in such a vulnerable state, and I feel like, though I understand everyone had legitimate reasons for leaving, I started this shit storm and I feel terrible about it. This was never what I wanted. No matter it's flaws and how toxic of an environment it has become, I love this community and its inhabitants. It's not right to let a two-faced bitch ruin the friendships I have made on here over these last couple of years. No more contemplations. No more indecisions. No more letting some impetuous two-faced anonymous asshole ruin my enjoyment on here. Until this show leaves the airwaves, I'm here to stay.